Brexit Terms Explained At Last!
1. Brexiter (Brexiteer) vs. Remainer (Remoaner)
Brexiteer = the boldest of the three musketeers, who loved breaking things asunder. (Not to be confused with brexitear = a tear shed by Remain voters as they contemplate Brexit Britain.) Remoaner = one who wishes to run a contest again and again until they win.
2. no deal is better than a bad deal
The original name for the popular Noel Edmonds-hosted quiz show on Channel 4.
3. leave on WTO rules
A way of doing something without thinking about the consequences, e.g. ‘Shall we pay for our meal now?’ ‘Nah. Let’s leave on WTO rules.’
4. crash out
To sleep after energetic activity, e.g. after a hard day on a Remain march or painting faces with the EU flag – or both.
5. People’s Vote
Non-technical, easy-to-understand name for a referendum.
6. kicking the can down the road
A fun activity for kids after Brexit.
7. Brexit means Brexit
A very clear way of explaining what something means, e.g. book means BOOK, grandma means GRANDMA, etc.
8. the will of the people
A document stating what should happen to the people’s assets in the event that Brexit causes mass death (see Project Fear, below).
9. Project Fear
A way of making the German word for four (vier) appear on a wall by means of light passing through a thing.
10. transition period
The greatest ever album by Gerry Rafferty.
11. Northern Irish backstop
A delightful folk trio from Ballymena; their first album was called ‘Blame it on the Backstop’; their second was ‘Don’t Blame it on the Backstop’, and their third will be titled: ‘Don’t Mention the Backstop’.
12. Withdrawal Agreement
A verbal agreement in which both parties agree to be very careful and avoid having children.
13. cliff edge
A prominent leave supporter, Cliff lives alone with his mother in Ramsgate, Kent. Motto: ‘Hey ho! WTO – let’s go!’
14. Brexit fatigue
The unfortunate condition of not having heard enough about Brexit for the past three years.
15. hard border
A tough guy who lives in a boarding house.
16. divorce bill
A situation where you take all of your money and either burn it or give it to a firm of lawyers – your choice.
17. extend Article 50
What happens when you make Article 50 longer, e.g. Aaaaaaarrrrrtttttiiiiiiccccccllllllleeeeeeee5555555555000000000000000000.
18. no deal – no problem
What you say when the bank turns you down for a loan, but you want to look nonchalant then walk away whistling to yourself.
19. soft / hard Brexit
What would happen if Brexit were pillows: soft Brexit = very comfortable and nice, but maybe too squishy; hard Brexit = something is awry here; it feels like there is a rock in it, but it’s good for your back – and your morale.
An extremely rare kind of Brexit Rhino, with union jack (flag) colouring and a dainty unicorn horn instead of a big rhino one.
21. future relationship
Unfortunately there isn’t any space to discuss thi…
Oops. Sorry, there was a slight error there. Gremlins in the works. Er… Right.
Below are the actual definitions. Match each definition to a Brexit term, above.
a) A 21-month period after leaving the EU on 29th March 2019 when the UK remains in the EU while a trade deal is (hopefully) drawn up.
b) Leave the EU without a deal. (Remainer term)
c) The official deal for leaving the EU, drawn up by the UK Government and the EU.
d) It would be preferable to leave the EU without an agreement, if that agreement was unsuitable.
e) Leaving the EU means a complete break with the EU.
f) Acronym for ‘Brexit in name only’. The Brexiter fear that a deal will make it look as though we have left the EU, when we haven’t. (Brexiter term)
g) A second referendum on leaving the EU. (Remainer term)
h) A payment of €39 billion to be made to the EU by the UK, covering money promised for projects and membership of the EU to the end of the transition period.
i) Putting off making a decision until a future date, as the deadline approaches.
j) The idea that there are varying ‘shades’ of Brexit, from virtually remaining in the EU (soft Brexit) to leaving without a deal (hard Brexit).
k) The fear that leaving the UK without a plan will lead to the end of life in the UK as we know it – a bit like recklessly jumping off a great precipice.
l) The decision to leave the EU, which was made by the majority of voters in the June 23rd 2016 referendum.
m) The idea that Article 50 could be extended by several months or years after the legal deadline of 29th March 2019.
n) A deliberate campaign organised by certain Remainers intended to spread fear and panic regarding the implications of leaving the EU. (Brexiter term)
o) Rely on default trading rules from the World Trade Organisation, rather than having a deal with the EU.
p) A guarantee agreed by the UK and the EU that there will be no hard border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland, no matter what the UK’s future relationship with the EU may be.
q) The feeling of being sick and tired of hearing about Brexit.
r) Leave supporter (positive nickname) vs. Remain supporter (negative nickname).
s) The idea that leaving the EU without a deal would be unproblematic. (Brexiter term)
t) A border between Northern Ireland and Ireland that requires a passport, ID, or customs form to cross.